I can feel it in the back of my throat.
Clicking at my teeth.
Fluttering behind my eyelids.
I've met you before.
Behind the dumpster
And in the basement.
Tears stained my shirt black
But I don't remember what I was wearing.
A victory smile.

Here the lights change
And the people in their cars dig for gold.
Coming up with nothing as satisfying watching someone when they think they are alone.
But it never makes me feel any better.
They drive off to where ever it is people go.

Falling through space and time in a tiny capsule.
Forgetting to put the e on the end of the right words.
Sometimes I think the more I learn, the more I forget.
Maybe I don't have enough room.
Maybe I'm fucking stupid.
Maybe I don't care.
Maybe it feels like the medicine stopped working.
Too broke and too afraid to selfmedicate and up the dosage. Doseage. Doesage.eeeeeeee
It's that fucking e. Always escaping me. Taunting me.
Everything in life taunts me.
The imaginary girls that sniff and smile and other fucked up qualities only I could create.
That's my imagination taunting me.
My very own mind.
Fucking treason.

I think there's a reason I stopped writing.
Fucking loneliness.